Thoughts At 1am

[dudelovenext]

I've just kinda been putting around for the last while. Earlier today Whitney and I went and visited my mom and sis for her 11th birthday. It was an interesting experience being around four preteen girls (I have to give credit to my mom for dealing with thrice as many last year with Sarah's slumber party). Ate some lunch, did some bowling; it was fun. :)

I suppose right now my mind's really on the future. I wasn't expecting what happened to happen, with regards to the Bond House. My annual tradition of moving continues, y'know? ^_^ Maybe it'll last for more than a year this time. :)

I guess I'm also confused. Maybe that's not quite the right word, but it's the best I can think of at the moment. I've been thinking a lot about my friendships as of late. I like to think of myself as an optimistic person, but sometimes I think I wear tye-dye tinted glasses. Maybe I'm just in a bit of denial about some things.

I think I need to put more of an effort into my friendships. There are a lot of wonderful people I know, and...I don't know, maybe I'm just not treating them with the respect that they deserve.

And then there's just watching myself change. Heh, a year ago I was the booziest of the booze hounds. Now? I might have a few drinks a week. I'm going back to school soon. I'm in a wonderful relationship. I'm getting out of debt. I think I look at this with a certain...sadness. No...sadness isn't the right word. I can't think of the right word for that, either. Guess my vocabulary's failing me tonight. But don't get me wrong, these are all good things. I guess I just really feel like things are coming together. I'm not very used to that. I'm used to just kicking back and seeing what happens.

Course, I'm babbling a little bit. Just getting my thoughts out as they cross my mind.

Things are actually very good. :) I just need to work on a few things is all. :)

Comments

[jasminesoyokaze.livejournal.com]

its okay. I feel like I dont talk to anyone anymore. And I am glad that you are with someone special. I hope I can meet her soon!

[fearless-son.livejournal.com]

It sounds like you are apprehensive. You are used to always being in some disadvantaged position, and when everything is starting to go your way, you do not know what to do and thus get nervous.

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And yeah, maybe sometime! She should be at Sakura-Con. :)

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that sounds about right.

I guess I'm just used to being in a "less than" position, and being above that I get a little confused.

[justawave.livejournal.com]

Congrats on being where you are in life! I hope things continue going your way! It's probably good to be sad when you are saying goodbye to part of who you were (boozey-hound) - sounds like it has allowed you to do some self-reflection.

:D

Friendships are ever-evolving. The challenge for me is to see my relationships clearly instead of how I wish they would be, or "should" be.

[quetz.livejournal.com]

If growth were easy, everyone would be doing it.

[small-rini-lady.livejournal.com]

hey did you still want to do the cosplay group of wario ware?

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

I still like the sauce, but yeah, not drinking it like I used to. ^_^

Hm, maybe that's my problem...

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Very true. :)

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

I'd like to, but I'm not sure how much of a commitment I could make, especially if we wanted to do a group shoot or something (I think I'll be a Guest Liaison, is the reason).

I would like to, though. Any luck on getting anyone else?

[small-rini-lady.livejournal.com]

not that i know of
either way
i'm going to be doing several costumes

ashley from wario ware of course
Kagura from inu yasha
and at night a hogwarts griffendor student

what do you mean you are going to be a guest liaison?
what do you do?