Day 1

[dudelovenext]

So, yes. No more liquor for me for a while. Several reasons why.

• It's not gonna help me lose weight, and just beyond that, it's not so good for ya.
  
• I didn't think I spent that much on liquor. Like, oh, maybe $50 a month or something. WRONG! I looked through my Money files and I've been spending at least $150 a month. YOW. And that's JUST for stuff at home!
  
• I don't feel like I have a problem right now...but it can easily turn into one.
  
• The feelings that everyone have expressed about my drinking. Certainly I'm not an angry drunk, and of course I have no problem with making myself look foolish (I think it's important to be able to laugh at yourself), but a few times when I've been drunk I wasn't happy afterwards how I acted.

Will this be hard? Yes. Will I be tempted? Oh hell yes. While I'd like to say that I'll only stop for like a month, shouldn't this be a lifestyle change? Hasn't the way I've been drinking lately let me know that I don't really have control? I'd like to think that I could go somewhere, have a drink, and that's it. That will be something I'll really have to think about.

I'll be off the booze for at least a month. I might re-evaluate after that. What about King's Cup? What about when I go to Hawaii? What about when I go clubbing? For a party person like me, it's extremely hard to avoid liquor.

We'll see how this goes...yes, I've "cried wolf" before...but, I guess for me, it's extremely difficult to stop. It's too much fun.

Hm, maybe I really do have an addiction. I was just about to compare my drinking to smoking. It's easy to say that "I'll stop", but it's even easier to start back up again. `^_^ The addiction itself I guess can be worse than my drinking habits or the way I act (again, just because I'm not a bad drunk (usually)).

Comments

[thestupidguy.livejournal.com]

"What about King's Cup? What about when I go to Hawaii? What about when I go clubbing? For a party person like me, it's extremely hard to avoid liquor."

Well, you should stay away from situations that lead to drinking. Like, if you're trying to quit smoking, hanging out in the smokers' area won't do you much good.

For you, quitting drinking isn't just going to be about changing one element of your life. It's going to be about changing your lifestyle.

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Those are some pretty big social situations. I don't want to cut out social situations just because of drinking.

I do wonder about that, it being a lifestyle change. Being healthy is something I should really focus on...but I also want to go out and have fun.

It will require a lot of thought on my part after the month.

[dudeapathy.livejournal.com]

Being healthy is something I should really focus on...but I also want to go out and have fun.

That's akin to saying, "I love my wife, but I also love to get shitfaced, dropdead drunk." Hmm...decisions, decisions...which one to choose... ;)

I guess you'll have to decide which you want more and which one means more to you. And to what extent this "fun" will be.

I also don't think it'll require you to cut out social situations, but it will require you to stop using them as excuses to drink, or as a "reward" to drink for having a good week/month/day/living through the hell of work. Enjoy the social interaction and step back and be an observer for once. Get off the damn stage you stupid Leo!!! :P :P :P

[quetz.livejournal.com]

I, for decades, never felt the desire to drink...but there have been certain situations in the last six months in which I really needed to erase myself, and I chose the less-permanent method. Sometimes, it isn't about fun.

I have also immensely enjoyed myself in the preparation of party accessories, because they seem to help all my friends have a good time...especially libations. I could as easily make everyone really good h'ordeurves, or serve fine wines and cheeses, or breads w/ balsamic vinegar... The point is, I like mixing drinks because I'm good at it and people appreciate that. I have little enough self-esteem that this much matters.

I'm sorry if I've contributed to anyone's problem. I gave up drinking on my own after my birthday, and haven't even been imbibing that much at gatherings--certainly not the strong stuff (I prefer Mike's Hard Lime smoothies!) Nonetheless, you're right that it isn't really necessary, and often does more harm than good.

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Very rarely (at least consciously) have I drank to kill pain. It's always been to liven things up.

Good examples, but none of them quite have the...flair that liquor does. Of course, nothing wrong with making things a little classier.

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Not necessarily...there's fun and too much fun.

Yes, the reward system doesn't quite work, as we've both seen. It's really gotta be more of a lifestyle change.

Shut up! I'll be on stage if I want to! :)

[umipixie.livejournal.com]

I don't drink very often anymore because it's been making me pretty grouchy unless I'm in a specific mood (and I don't get into that mood very often). Whenever we have anime night, I don't drink. I'm constantly in social situations where everyone else is drinking but I'm not. I've gotten to the point where I'm totally fine with that. Cutting alcohol out of my life for the most part was not a conscious decision I made. I just don't drink when I don't really feel like it, and since I rarely feel like it, it hasn't been a problem.

It might be a lot harder for you since you LIKE drinking. You should probably avoid situations which involve drinking until you've not been drinking for a while (like 6 months to a year), then start going out again. I know it sounds like crap, but if you really want to gain more control over when and where you drink, this will help you do that.

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

I'm a pretty consistant drunk. Things are funnier when I'm drunk. I flirt a lot more, if there are girls around.

*nods* Yeah, though I'm not sure if avoiding situations is an option; otherwise I'm going to have to become a hermit.

[katana22.livejournal.com]

-huggles- I'll help you anyway I can

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Thanks, but for the most part, this is something I gotta do and keep up with myself. *hugs*

[pixxiy.livejournal.com]

[quetz.livejournal.com]

darn it, I wanted you to take me to raves!

[pixxiy.livejournal.com]

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Let me know too, raves are fun. Just to go hang with people and dance and stuff. :)

[akira-hojo76.livejournal.com]

Actually that's good. At SC 04 I wasn't too comfortable with how you were acting around the ladies when you were more than tippsy.

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Oh? What was I doing? I know I flirt quite a bit when I'm drunk, but I don't consider that a bad thing (depending).

[akira-hojo76.livejournal.com]

Flirty ok, but I think you were a little too touchy feely at that point.

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

No one told me anything like that happened at SC 04. People need to tell me these things. *thinks* I have no idea who it might've been because I wasn't super drunk the whole weekend.

[thestupidguy.livejournal.com]

Well, you have to realize that when your're drunk, you may not realize you're offending someone. I know many people that are simply uncomfortable being around extremely intoxicated people, much less being flirted with by them.

What's no big deal to you can be incredibly hurtful or offensive to someone else.

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Unless I'm to the point of blacking out, which is pretty rare, if someone tells me something I'll listen.

But how will I know if I offend someone if they don't tell me? I'm can't read their mind. Something I say sober could offend them, and then what excuse is there?

[dudeapathy.livejournal.com]

Certainly I'm not an angry drunk

Sorry, but I have to disagree--in part. You can be incredibly indignant and difficult to deal with. Anger does come through in this persona you exhibit during these times.

However, maybe you should've said, "I'm not a verbally and physically abusive drunk" (though you did give me some wicked bruises from punching me once). ;)

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

If people push me, yes. Before where I would laugh it off, I might not so much. There are certain types of humor that aren't for me when I'm drinking.

[devilslayer.livejournal.com]

that's right what about Kings Cup!!!
>>.....<<.....>>.....
nah, seriously, if you feel this is the kind of change you need right now then I say go for it ^__^ if anything cut back - if you don't feel like you want to quit everything 100%, you can always cut it down to 50%, then 25% and so on ^_^

good luck!

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Yeah...we'll see. I'd miss the game. `^_^

I'm gonna see how a month goes, and give it some thought. See if I can just drink occasionally, or if even that will work.

[quetz.livejournal.com]

I feel at least partly responsible for this, and will henceforth hide the booze and work on mocktails and the like.

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

*LOL* No, you are not responsible. You didn't hold my mouth open and shove liquor down it. You provided, but that is entirely different. I'm responsible for my own actions.

It just means on game nights I'll be bringing stuff over for smoothies. :)

Good Luck ^^

[arctic-pixie.livejournal.com]

I, for one, am rather happy with this desision of yours. I agree that you do handle yourself rather well when dunk, at least the times that I've been there, but it could, and probably will, get worse with out finding control. You have my support and encouragement.

<3,
Tamara

Re: Good Luck ^^

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :) I think this is a good opportunity to see if I truly do have a problem. If I become super desperate for a drink...that'll be a good sign. If I don't, then it just means I need to refind my drinking limits.

[humu-ted.livejournal.com]

Not everything I'm going to say will apply to you but some of it may so I'm just gonna say it.

First off, I'm *really* glad you're making this decision. I think if for no other reason than your future health, you're doing a good thing.

As for addiction. They say that the first step in breaking an addiction is admitting you have a problem. Well, I don't know if it's really an addiction for you or if you really can stop whenever you want. I want to say that while it may not be alcoholic level, I do think you are somewhat addicted, whether it's to the alcohol itself, the feeling of being intoxicated, or even the social situations that you do your drinking in. Just my opinion from reading your LJ etc.

Now, even if you aren't addicted at all and it really is just for fun, I think it can easily get out of hand. You said that your Grandpa is "fond of the sauce" as well and that's worried me. Alcoholism runs in families and if there's a tendency for it in your genes then you could be headed towards trouble.

I joke about alcohol a lot and because of that people think I drink a lot. However, that's just not the case. I don't like feeling "buzzed" and I've only gotten that far twice. I don't even know if it was a full buzz or not. I hated the feeling of it. Because of this, I NEVER want to get drunk. I can't imagine feeling like that and for me it's just not appealing. On top of that alcoholism runs very strong in my family on multiple sides. That means that if I screw around with it I could mess the rest of my life up. Not something I'm prepared to do.

Since I've only seen you drunk once, I don't know how you normally are. I didn't think you were angry but I agree with Dan that you were indignant near the end of the night. Like you said, some stuff that you would think was funny sober, you take offense to when you're drunk. I was pretty upset for two days after that night. I hated that you and your friends were fighting and that feelings had been hurt. :(

>At SC 04 I wasn't too comfortable with how you were acting around the ladies when you were more than tippsy. Flirty ok, but I think you were a little too touchy feely at that point.

>People need to tell me these things.

Ok, if something like that happens a few times that's one thing. But if people need to "tell you these things" all the time, that sounds like a major problem to me. Not a problem with your dependancy on alcohol, but a problem with your reaction to it.

And I could have told you that you spend more than $50.00/month on alcohol. ;P

I hope I didn't sound too judgmental or anything. I just really hope you can stick to this and stay off alcy for a month. Remember, you may be doing it FOR yourself but that doesn't mean you have to do it BY yourself. You've got friends. Come to us when you need to. :)

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I wonder if I have a problem because I truly do, or if because everyone says I do? That line of thinking aside, though, at the minimum level I've lost my "knowing my limit".

Yes, my Grandpa Lion is. Though for quite a while there he stopped. I can't remember if he is now...with my Grandma gone, I wouldn't blame him.

Alcohol's not for everyone. That's totally cool. Some people like the feeling, some don't. That's with anything in life.

That's if you let it. It's like with anything in life. If you take it to excess, it could cause problems. Alcohol, food, video games, TV, even vitamins. It's learning that balance.

Heh, oh yes, that night. Honestly, I think that that brand of humor doesn't sit too well with me when I'm drunk. Sober, sure, I can deal and dish. Drunk, no, I don't like it. You shouldn't have felt bad, nothing was your fault. It was a lot of things.

I never heard anyone say "all the time". If I offend someone, drunk or sober, I want to be told. Sometimes I'll tone it down. Other times I'll tell 'em "this is who I am, you don't like it, screw off". Though I'll agree, sober it's much easier to think how I'm going to react, with a good dose of logic.

No, you don't sound like you're on a "high horse" or anything. :) Maybe AA and everyone says that I don't have to do this alone, but honestly, yes, I do. Putting aside any wacky situations like someone shoving a gun in my face and yelling, "Drink this bottle of Jack Daniels or I'll blow your head off!", it's entirely my choice alone to put it in my body. True, if things get bad for me, I can hang out with friends, though.

Thanks for your words of support. :) *hugs*

[hencucco.livejournal.com]

Smoothies rock! They are definitely better for you as well. As a woman who has never consumed an ounce of alcohol... It's not neccessary to have around for good times. You should let your moods be your moods and not force your body into being giddy or drunkenly silly. On occassion I get in moods where I'm quite ... 'fun/entertaining' to be around. I'd like those things to come naturally rather than because I'm messing up my body. Hopefully you'll be around for one of my silly moods sometimes. I have dubbed that mood 'the goonie hour' (elbow jab's goonie ;) ) due to my growing up years my sister and I often ended up talking in my bedroom in the wee hours of the morning being absolutely slapstick silly. We named it the goonie hour back then. Ahhh good times ^-^

[dudeapathy.livejournal.com]

*pushes Hen over*

:P

Goonie hour = hilarious :)

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Yes, there is the whole "health" thing. Smoothies are much better. :)

Lots of things we put into our bodies can affect our moods. Certain kinds of medication, high-sugar foods, etc. Alcohol is just much more intense.

Hopefully, it'd be interesting to see you in "goonie hour" mode. :)

.

[elsmd.livejournal.com]

Good for you for at least putting aside a month to see if you're able to quit drinking when you want. There's no problem with drinking and having fun every now and then, but there is a problem with not being able to control it.

Re: .

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :) Yeah, that's what I'm trying to find out here. So far, so good. :)

[ff8squall.livejournal.com]

Good to see you're trying to cut back. =) Alcoholic drinks have more calories than most people think, and yeah...it's not that good for you. Having an extra $150/month to spend should come in handy, too.

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Yeah, if nothing else, I could use that $150 in a lot of other places!

[tak178.livejournal.com]

In the grand scheme of things, my friend, you are on the right track. Remember, you have to make the concious choice to change...no one else. I hope our discussion this evening helped, all I can do is give you what I know...you know my weakness...I know yours. I will lend you my strength, and I will pray on your behalf as your intercessor. As you come to grips with where you are, and where you are going, take this adivce from a humble man. Admit when you have done wrong, release it, and rely on the grace from the Creator to get you through the day.

The following is a few quotations that I hope you will find helpful...

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"Ask and you shall receive, seek and ye shall find, knock, and the door shall be opened to you. For those who ask the Father shall recieve, those who seek will find, and those who knock, the door will be opened." (Paraphrase, Book of John)

"For we were saved in hope, but hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for that which he sees? But if we hope for that which we don't see, we wait for it with patience. In the same way, the Spirit also helps our weaknesses, for we don't know how to pray as we ought. But the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which can't be uttered. He who searches the hearts knows what is on the Spirit's mind, because he makes intercession for the saints according to God. We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:24-28 (WEB)

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I am just as lost as you are in this world, but I can help point you to the light. We are all in this together my friend. As iron sharpens iron, so does the wise counsel from a friend. I hope I have provided that for you tonight.

~Dave

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

You definitely gave me some things to think about. And thank you. :) I'll see how it is after a month...so far, so good. :)

[namastegiggles.livejournal.com]

I was getting ready to write you an email on this topic.

I <3 <3 <3 that you're going to quit drinking for a month. It might be hard at times, but I think it's going to show a lot. Just this entry already has shown you quite a bit.

You were definitely showing some bads signs that I've seen in friends who ended up with problems (they eventually flunked out of school, often got their utilities cut off, etc, etc). And honestly, I figured you were spenind way beyond $150 a month.

But, here's some kick ass news. Socializing and partying sans drinking can be just as fun sober; sometimes even better, because there's not price to pay later on (no hang overs, no black outs, no people being offended at things you can't remember, no throwing your diet way off, etc). Personally, I think that people who can't have an incredible time partying while sober lack serious party skills. Most parties and club trips that I've taken have been sober and way enjoyable (and if they did suck, drinking wouldn't have resolved that--just would've cost money and been a pathetic failed atttempt).

Also, while you can't avoid situations of being surrounded by alcohol all the time, ALL of us will gladly go sans liquor at get togethers with you for the next month. We're interesting and fun people; the liquor is an option, not a necessity.

ps I think you are much more fun to flirt with when you're sober!

*big hugs* I'm very proud of you!

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

I've (almost) never let my drinking interfere with my job. Throughout the years, I think I've maybe called in sick twice because of a hangover. Not bad considering people call in for far less. :) But yeah, it's possible I could've been headed down a bad path.

Maybe I do lack some party skills then. `^_^ I'll admit, I like alcohol because it really helps reduce the anxiety in social situations. I don't really need it for partying with any of you guys, but with new people...yeah. `^_^ I don't like being the shy one. And honestly, alcohol helps me get past that.

I don't think it'll be a problem to be around alcohol. I can't think of many right now that I'd get myself into anyway.

Aw, thanks! *turns red* *hugs* :)

[toasterchild]

Just wanna let you know that I'm still around and still read your journal. :D

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Ditto. :)

[maetel9.livejournal.com]

I'm really really glad you're doing this, because I worry sometimes and I know other people worry too.

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Well, it'll save me money and calories if nothing else. So far, I haven't gone stir crazy from not drinking. Maybe a good thing to do here and there anyway. :)

Aw, you don't have to worry. *hugs* :)